It has come to my attention that we have not talked about eating the rhinoceros lately. This lack will be corrected in the following series.
The Oxford Companion to Food advises that rhinos are not to be considered as food due to their rarity. Larousse Gastronomique tells us that the meat of the rhinoceros is to be preferred to the meat of the elephant but that hippopotamus meat tops them both.
There are several recipes we will learn. The first is the easiest, and offers a bit of dietary advice along with cookery instructions:
It has recently been discovered that rhinos, caught and cooked fresh, are extremely delicious, almost as much so as pie, but also have up to 300 milligrams of caffeine per serving. Scientists are still researching why. One of the possible causes could be the stupidity of the scientists.
Recipe for Poached Rhino
Combine all ingredients into a large saucepan, place in microwave oven, and set on “poach” for 2 minutes. Serves 500 very small people.
The same reference is worthwhile in terms of discovering how to shop for a rhino – after all we do not do this every day!
According to our primary source, this is most definitely not a rhinoceros.
We will continue this series with more information on dining upon the rhinoceros till we are done talking about it as much as we possibly can. For additional information, if you can not bear to wait until the next post to learn more, please read the entry quoted from above at uncyclopedia.